Writing messages on online dating sites

You’re better off ditching the crappy, manipulative dating tactics and sending a nice, normal message.

Unless both of you make it clear in your profiles that you are on this site for sex and only sex, keep the message PG – yes, even if there’s a mention of something sexual in the person’s profile, and yes, even if you think your sexual reference is cute or funny or clever.

Sure, it’s a pain to actually read through profiles and send unique messages to each person, but aren’t you here to find a date?

Learn a little something about the person you’re messaging, and reference that in your communiqué.

If you’re sending a message, the recipient already knows you’ve looked at their pictures and find them attractive.

So instead of stating the obvious (“you look like a small child and I enjoy sexing small children”), point to what it was that attracted you to their personality (or at least the fragment of their personality that they put on the internet).

Straightforward and nice is infinitely better than trying to be funny and failing miserably. There are lots of reasons why someone might not message you back. Now have patience, or set your sights on one of the 10,000 other single people in your area.Do you live in Tennessee and are up for some long-distance chatting but she’s in New York and wants someone local?Move on to someone who’s interested in people of your gender, location, age, etc.You would think “don't be a dick” would be obvious, but there are apparently legions of people (mostly dudes) who adopt crappy pick-up artist tactics in their online dating lives, and think they might get lucky by sending vaguely (or blatantly) insulting messages to unsuspecting recipients (negging is actually a thing! Is there some low-self-esteem lady out there who might respond to a message about how ugly she is?Sure, maybe, but the odds are slim — and since this is the internet, even women who have been strongly socialized to be nice to cretins in bars are able to hit the delete key.

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